Giving in

I started my run in the wrong mindset. I had tired legs during the week and immediately “knew” that I was going to suffer during my 16 mile trek. It could have been those pre-run thoughts, the 90°F weather or my body, but I didn’t make it the whole way running. Around mile 9 I really started thinking about why I torture myself. I kept telling myself that if I get out of the Reserva things will start looking up as it means I’m headed home. The mental battle that ensued for the next hour was a tough one. I even had a young boy yell at me, “Más rápido! Vamos despacita!” If I had the energy, I would have turned around and screamed at him but he got lucky. I got to the unpredictable bridge to find cars were turning their engines on to cross again. I made the decision to not wait and just ran. The navy guys stared at me and didn’t say a word as I crossed and continued on my way. As I was struggling, I convinced myself to run for 2 hours and 40 mins, which would have been 16 miles at a 10 min/mile pace. As I was running slower, I think I only got to about 15 before I walked 4 blocks and then made myself go again. Although I finished I still feel like I gave in as I had to stop and wasn’t happy with myself afterwards. I’m going to have to rethink things before next week.